Day 22: Goodheartedness

Day 22: לֵב טוֹב / Goodheartedness

Yesterday we professed the value of patience, which serves as the filter between thought and action. We have talked a lot about action, because that is a visible demonstration of our character. But today we turn inward to the source and generator of every behavior that ultimately manifests. Today we turn to the heart. 

Pirkei Avot earnestly promotes the prime value of a good heart:

He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the right way to which a person should cleave? Rabbi Eliezer said, a good eye; Rabbi Joshua said, a good companion; Rabbi Yose said, a good neighbor; Rabbi Shimon said, foresight. Rabbi Elazar said, a good heart. He [Rabban Yohanan] said to them: I prefer the words of Elazar ben Arach, for in his words your words are included. (Pirkei Avot 2:9)

The heart is the most essential part of our identity, because it is the foundation upon which the rest of our Self rests. The quality of our heart determines the quality of how we show up in this world. It is the primordial source of our very being. But the heart is not actually about us; a good heart shows kindness and compassion to others. The deeper we pine into ourselves, the more we find the urge to connect with others. 

Reflection:

Is a good heart something we are born with, or something we achieve? Can all people have a good heart?

Can people live decent lives without having the foundation of a good heart?

Lived practice

Judaism teaches that our hearts contain a battle between the יצר הטוב and יצר הרע. Today, try to notice the times that you follow the good inclination, even if it seems small or subtle. Think about the impact that can come of that decision.

Day 21: Patience

Day 21: אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם / Patience

Think of a student-teacher relationship. Both need to exercise patience in order to succeed in their roles, but it means a very different thing for each. For the teacher to be patient, it means showing restraint, compassion, and the will to empower. For the student to have patience, it means having anticipation, focus, and discipline.

One of God's core 13 attributes is ארך אפים, often translated as 'slow to anger.' Rashi comments that God gives ample opportunity to repent, because God believes in empowering learning and growth. This model of outward-facing patience serves as counsel to the teacher.

In Proverbs, the tradition teaches, "Patience results in much understanding; impatience get folly as its portion" (Proverbs 14:29). We crave instant gratification, but wisdom only comes with discipline and effort. This model of inward-facing patience serves as counsel to the student.

Ultimately, patience allows for growth and learning for all parties involved, given that they see the best in the other and in themselves and commit to growing together.

Reflection:
Do you find yourself resonating more with the teacher or with the student above?
How are you able to exercise patience when others do not? Is it a fair expectation to do so?

Lived practice:
The first moment of impatience can lead you to spiral. You might even grow impatient with your impatience. Take a moment and acknowledge the impatience when it occurs, without any judgment. Take at least 30 seconds (count it!) to just let your mind settle. Nobody is too busy to do this. The ability to slow down will build up a capacity for patience.

Day 20: Minimizing sexual activity

Day 20: מִעוּט דֶּרֶךְ אֶרֶץ / Minimizing sexual activity

One brief post couldn't possibly encapsulate the complexities and sensitivities of the Jewish sexual ethic. In our context, it comes as the final item in a sub-series on restraint and balance. Perhaps sexuality should not be framed as a virtue or a vice, but as a facet of life with immense potential to elevate and sanctify our lives, but also to distract and damage us and others. 

For the ancient rabbis, their concern with sexuality was that it disrupted and distracted from their focus on Torah study. To me, this misses the point of Torah study. According to the rabbis themselves, we spend time learning Torah so that we can show up in this world ready to act with compassion and righteousness. Sex is and should be a part of life, and Judaism fully condones this fact. Our task is to bridge the world of Torah learning with our conduct in all relationships, but especially in those most intimate.

There is really no margin for error here because of the delicate balance between sanctity and damage described above. Therefore, minimizing sexual activity is a bold warning to take great care and never for a moment lose sight of the great responsibility we must bring to any such encounter.

Reflection:
What does this post evoke for you? 
Does this characterization of a Jewish sexual ethic resonate with you?
How do you think sexuality should be taught and discussed in Jewish settings?

Lived practice:
We are in strange times of enforced physical distance. Think about what forms of physical touch are no longer possible. Do those various types of contact bring people closer together, or do they introduce discomfort or distraction? In what ways has the absence of touch felt like a burden or a relief?

Day 19: Minimizing physical pleasure

Day 19: מִעוּט תַּעֲנוּג / Minimizing [physical] pleasure

Once more, we encounter an apparent endorsement of a sobering asceticism aimed at giving undivided attention to Torah study. Pirkei Avot bluntly suggests, "Such is the way [of life] of Torah: you should eat bread with salt, and you should drink rationed water; you should sleep on the ground, your life will be one of privation, and in Torah you shall labor" (Pirkei Avot 6:4). Can this cold monasticism really be the Jewish ideal? If we look past the hyperbole, we indeed discover some wise counsel.

Physical pleasure is fleeting, whereas pleasure derived from growth and learning is enduring and life-giving. We have already affirmed the value of joy, so today we are urged to seek out and relish the pleasure that endures, and not submit to the temptations of ephemeral delight. This higher type of pleasure requires focus, patience, and effort. I don't advise eliminating physical pleasure from your life, but we must be cautious to not confuse that pleasure with the true joy that awaits us.

Reflection:
Do you think that al physical pleasure is just distraction, or do you think it can and should play an important role in our lives?
What if the true joy above doesn't seem to ever come? 

Lived practice:
Pleasure is all around us, and it is not reasonable or productive to simulate total withdrawal. Besides, self-care is crucial, especially at times like these. However, some fleeting pleasures actually pull us further from joy instead of bringing us closer to it. Push yourself to think of even one such example, and try replacing it with a project aimed at deeper satisfaction. Maybe it's replacing Buzzfeed with a new book, or the snack drawer with a new recipe.

Day 18: Minimizing frivolity

Day 18: מִעוּט שְׂחוֹק / Minimizing frivolity

Like other distractions from a life of study and personal growth, the rabbis are weary of frivolous behavior. In Pirkei Avot, Rabbi Akiva says, "Merriment and frivolity accustom one to sexual promiscuity" (Pirkei Avot 3:13).

More to come on sexuality in a few days.. but the point here is a warning against distraction. Not only does frivolity itself detract from time spent in serious learning and reflection, but it also risks snowballing into patterns of increased diversion.

Like everything else from the last few days about "minimizing" certain behaviors, frivolity too can be better understood through the framework of balance and restraint. Distractions provide much needed relief that save us from burning out in lives of preoccupation with serious matters. It takes self control and focus to avoid letting those distractions becoming too frequent and harder to resist. 

Reflection:
What types of frivolity do you allow into your life? How much of it feels regenerative, and how much ultimately feels more like distraction? 
How do you differentiate the fine line between healthy and purely frivolous distraction?

Lived practice: 
Set limits. Think of the amount of time you deserve/need as distraction throughout your day. For one day, really think about how well you integrate healthy distraction into your life, and where you feel yourself slipping away. Especially as our lives lack structure in isolation, you might find this exercise surprisingly helpful. 

Day 17: Minimizing business

Day 17: מִעוּט סְחוֹרָה / Minimizing business

A fine balancing act exists between Torah and business. On the one hand, business belongs to the world of the mundane, and potentially encroaches upon vices like zero-sum competition and greed. On the other hand, the whole Torah enterprise never gets running without financial security. 

The rabbinic orientation is fundamentally towards Torah, with business serving as a utilitarian necessity that provides the security to learn Torah regularly and without distraction. 

However, we are not all devoted Torah scholars, and this Kinyan Torah Project aims to empower each of us to acquire Torah, regardless of our background. What if rather than weigh Torah against business, but also infuse our work lives with Torah. According to the Talmud the very first question we are asked upon arrival to the gates of Heaven is whether we were honest in our business dealings (Shabbat 31a). Each of us should try to set time for explicit study and growth away from our jobs, but the real measure of our character is how we live out the Torah that we learn, including and perhaps especially in our professional lives. 

Reflection:
Do you make time for personal learning and growth outside of your work life?
What are examples of truly living out Torah values in the context of your professional life?

Lived practice:
Think of three values that you are very good at integrating into your work life. Think of three values that you don't do a good job of bringing into your work life. Next week, choose just one of those latter values and work on better integrating in into your work life. 

Day 16: Minimizing conversation

Day 16: מִעוּט שִׂיחָה / Minimizing conversation

Next in our series about moderation, mindfulness, and balance, we arrive at the topic of minimizing conversation. 

My high school English teacher told us to write our papers as if each word cost us $5. Putting pen to paper meant investing in each and every word. At that cost, we had to write concisely and carefully select only the best words to express our ideas. 

We have already learned the power of speech (Day 3), so how do we reconcile that value the following the opinion in Pirkei Avot: "Shimon his son used to so say: 'all my days I grew up among the sages, and I have found nothing better for a person than silence...too many words brings about sin'" (Pirkei Avot 1:17)?

The Torah itself models the proper balance. The rabbis understand that the Torah is perfect and whole, and there is nothing extra or superfluous in it. Every sentence, word, and even letter is packed with depth and richness. Likewise, the world needs our voices, just like the Jewish people needs Torah. However, rather than running our mouths to fill the air, we should gift the world with carefully considered words of compassion and wisdom. 

Reflection:
Do you find silence helpful and important, or does silence make you uncomfortable?

Lived practice:
Slow down! Before you speak, take a moment to pause and think about what and how much you will say. Every word you say matters. 

Day 15: Minimizing sleep

Day 15: מִעוּט שֵׁינָה / Minimizing sleep

The next few days come as a series of cautions against frugal, excessive lifestyles. At face level, the list seems like a cold, draconian dismissal of various natural and important wants and needs in our lives. If we dig deeper, we find wise counsel towards mindful consumption and balance. 

The Talmud offers, "Torah scholars have rest neither in this world nor in the World-to-Come,” (Brachot 64a) extolling the sages for their stamina and vigor. Torah is our life-force and an intimation of the World-to-Come, whereas sleep is a small sample of our ultimate passing. The rabbis see a zero-sum scale, and of course they choose life.

We now know that without sleep, we cannot show up as our best selves. We do not need to view sleep as a vice, but we should appreciate that is only a virtue insofar as it affords us good health and allows us to pursue productive and meaningful days. 

Reflection:
Do you feel good or guilty when you get lots of sleep?
When quarantine messes with our sense of time and routine, how might a thoughtful sleep schedule impact your ability to make the most of each day?

Lived practice: 
Take this opportunity to think about your sleep schedule. When you stay up late, is it because you are passing time in productive ways? When you get lots of sleep, is it because you need well-deserved rest after full, productive days? Think about how your sleep schedule correlates with the quality of the day.

Day 14: Purity

Day 14: טָהֳרָה / Purity

On this day about purity, it bears mentioning that we currently find ourselves amidst the Parasha cycle that deals with the vast Israelite purity codes. There are two types of impurity: moral and spiritual. There are two elements of the laws of spiritual impurity that I want to highlight.

First of all, spiritual impurity is not sinful. Our de facto status appears to be one of purity; then in going about our lives, we inevitably pick up spiritual shmutz. It is a reality to be remedied, but not one to feel ashamed about.

Next, as the remedy, we discover an ancient physical and spiritual quarantine. Separation acts as preparation before the return to community. Before showing up fully and responsibly, we need time apart. 

Because we all have an underlying presumption of purity, the process of purification is a homecoming of sorts. We return to ourselves. We clear our minds and our bodies of the distractions and conflicts of daily life, and prepare to encounter the learning and relationships that bring meaning to our lives. 

Reflection:
Both in Jewish contexts and as a broader archetype, water is thought of as the agent and elixir of purity. What does the symbol of water mean to you?
What is the "spiritual shmutz" that you pick up in your life, and how do you find the place of purity?
Why do we aspire towards purity if it's impossible to maintain? 

Lived practice:
Purity is psychological and also physical. What steps you can take today to seek this refreshing return to yourself? Since we already spend our time in isolation, how can you reframe that experience of solitude as an act of seeking and maintaining purity? 

Day 13: Study of Mishnah and Torah

Day 13: מִּקְרָא, מִּשְׁנָה / Study of Torah and Mishnah

What I find most daunting and most exciting about a life of learning is the endless amount of information and text that I could consume. Where do I even begin when approaching the endless bookshelves of

wisdom that only grow wider with each passing day?

Pirkei Avot proposes one model. "[Judah ben Tema] would say, 'At five years old [teach your child] Torah,

at 10 [teach them] Mishnah...'" (Pirkei Avot 5:21). A Jewish child is a blank slate of knowledge, so he

builds his model around their development. However, no matter how old we are, we can learn from the

structure he creates.

In learning, there are no shortcuts. Reading the Sparknotes or the most recent edition does not reveal

the truth of the matter. We need to have the patience and the humility to master the foundations

before working our way into the building, and then adding our own contributions to ever-expanding

edifice of wisdom.

Reflection:

Think of the topic you are most passionate about. What were the first ideas, teachers, and experiences,

that brought you into that world?

How have you carried that foundation with you, and when did you know you could build upon it?

Lived practice:

In our world, we want short cuts and expediency. Today, when you think and when you act, think about

which early lessons and skills you continue to engage in your learning and in your everyday life.

Day 12: Reconciliation

Day 12: יִשּׁוּב /  Reconciliation

In meditation, the practice begins by finding a comfortable (typically seated) position.
This simple task literally grounds and orients the body for what is about to happen.

Pirkei Avot teaches, "One who increases 'yeshiva' increases wisdom" (Pirkei Avot 2:7). Yeshiva is a word packed with multiple meanings, including sitting, dwelling, and learning from scholars. 

When we sit, we position ourselves to learn. Sitting is a form of deference, patience, and attention. Only from that posture are we ready to receive and generate wisdom.

Once in position, we are ready for yet another valence of the word: calmness and reconciliation. Conflict and tension, both internal and external, often come from acting before thinking. Sitting in contemplative thought invites a clarity of mind that settles the soul and opens us to further connection.

Reflection:
Do you find it hard to sit still? What are ways that you calm your body and your mind?
What does 'yeshiva' mean to you (from the quote: "One who increases 'yeshiva' increases wisdom" )? 

Lived practice:
Take careful note of the times you sit. The process and act of sitting is an active passivity. When you find your mind overly active or unsettled, simply note to yourself without judgement that that's happening, and then recenter yourself.

Day 11: Debates with students

Day 11: פִלְפּוּל הַתַּלְמִידִים / Debates with students

Finally after moving from teachers to colleagues, we have arrived at the students. Anyone with any experience teaching and mentoring understands the ways that students shape and facilitate our own growth.

In the Talmud, Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak said: 

"Why are Torah matters likened to a tree, as it is stated: 'It is a tree of life to those who lay hold upon it' (Proverbs 3:18)? This verse comes to tell you that just as a small piece of wood can ignite a large piece, so too, minor Torah scholars can sharpen great Torah scholars and enable them to advance in their studies. And this is what Rabbi Ḥanina said: I have learned much from my teachers and even more from my friends, but from my students I have learned more than from all of them" 

(Taanit 7a) 

This text could be a the cornerstones of the entire Kinyan Torah Project. Receptiveness to the wisdom and insights of students requires deep humility on the part of the teacher. Sometimes we think that we are already a luminous torch glowing bright with wisdom, only to realize that we still needed that spark to ignite our own passion and creativity.

Reflection:

Do you feel any blocks in your ability to learn from those 'below' you?

Is there a particular teacher/mentor in your life whose ability to learn from their students you want to emulate?

Lived practice:

Think of a student in your life, meaning anyone with whom you have/had a mentor-mentee relationship. Write down 3 things you learned from them. If possible, reach out to them and let them know what kind of impact they had on you.

Day 10: Bonding with colleagues

Day 10: דִקְדּוּק חֲבֵרִים / Bonding with colleagues

Having begun with our relationship to our teachers, we shift today to thinking about our peers and colleagues. Pirkei Avot itself introduces that shift, teaching, "Joshua ben Perahiah used to say: 'Make for yourself a teacher, and acquire for yourself a friend'" (Pirkei Avot 1:6). Our Kinyan Torah Project is about the sacred journey towards acquiring Torah, and here we are invited into the sacred and perhaps more familiar path towards acquiring friendship.

Whereas a vertical hierarchy exists between teacher and student, friends/colleagues meet in mutual, reciprocal partnership. Judaism understands that there are secret pearls of wisdom hidden everywhere that are only accessed with a partner. 

Reflection:

Who are the people in your life who make you feel like your best self? In what ways do they challenge you?

Lived practice

Think of the relationships in your life that have rapport and trust built up. Bring your whole self to those relationships. Challenge them. You have the power to help shape them. Listen to them. They have so much to teach you. Together, you have a lot to learn.

Day 9: Serving our teachers

Day 9: שִׁמּוּשׁ חֲכָמִים / Serving sages/teachers/wise ones

The next three days present a triplet of relationships: teacher, colleague, student.

The Talmud teaches, "And Rabbi Yoḥanan said in the name of Rabbi Shimon ben Yoḥai: Service of Torah is greater than its study." The Steinsaltz commentary elaborates, "Serving a Torah scholar and spending time in [their] company is greater than learning Torah from [them]. Torah study is one component of a Torah life, but one who serves a Torah scholar learns about every aspect of life from [their] actions" (Brachot 7b). 

Every moment is a learnable moment. When you find a good teacher, soak in their words, but also be sure to study their actions. Give them your attention and also your time.

Reflection:
How do we maintain an appropriate balance of transparency and privacy with regard to our lives and our teachers' lives?
This day seeks to see people as unified wholes. Is there an advantage to compartmentalizing ourselves into various identities? Should teachers (and frankly anyone else) have the right to separate their personal and professional lives? 

Lived practice:
This day incorporates both observation and action. In terms of observation, really take notice of the values that your teachers live by, even when technically off the clock. In terms of action, make the extra effort to be polite and helpful to your teachers. In person, this could be as simple as holding open a door or picking up something that they dropped. What generous gestures can you think of when we aren't in person?

Day 8: Joy

Day 8: שִׂמְחָה / Joy

Jewish learning and living are not meant to be ascetic pursuits. On the contrary, a Jewish life devoid of

joy is considered empty and ephemeral. Only a Jewish life steeped in joy will prove everlasting and

worth perpetuating.

From the Bible to the Talmud to chassidic masters to Larry David, joy has been embedded in the fabric of the Jewish experience and soul. Joy, one might argue, has sustained the Jewish people on their often-turbulent journey through history. 

Jewish joy pops in a firework of spontaneous ecstasy, but its sparkle comes from its rootedness in purity and devotion. Jewish joy is not untethered, hedonistic, or frivolous. Joy paves a path towards a relationship with God, Torah, and community, and then joy emerges as the product and reward of those encounters. The Baal Shem Tov teaches that the verse "עבדו את ה׳ בשמחה" / "Serve God with happiness" (Psalms 100:2) means, "The happiness itself is your service of God".

Reflection:

How do you create joy?

What holds you back from experiencing and expressing joy?

Lived practice:
Enjoy this one!! Don't look it as a "free day;" rather, make this day about intentional joy. Seek it out. Create it. Play music. Find it in the everyday. Allow yourself to stop multitasking and just sit with joy. 

Day 7: Humility

Day 7: עֲנָוָה / Humility

Our last few days that focused on fear were really just an exercise towards cultivating an authentic
sense of modesty. Humility is hailed in Judaism as one of the most important characteristics one could
attain. Apropos of Passover, we are told, "Now Moses was a very humble man, more so than any other
person on earth" (Numbers 12:3). The key to Moses' leadership was his humility.

Humility contains an interesting paradox, because the moment someone takes credit for their modesty
or acts from a place of concern over reputation, their humility flips into its antithesis.
This 'Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle' effect makes true humility wistfully elusive but all the
more so valuable and precious.

Humility fuels curiosity and connection, and provides the soil in which true wisdom and connection
can sprout.

Reflection:
Is there a way to feel proud or accomplished without losing your humility?
Do you believe that you can develop as a person and make a positive impact on others without being grounded in humility?

Lived practice:
Today's practice is based upon a humility practice of the medieval scholar Ramban: 
Let your voice be gentle, and your head bowed. Let your eyes be turned earthwards and your heart heavenwards. Let every person seem superior to you in your own eyes. 
When you catch yourself checking on your humility, note the thought and move onward. Overthinking the trait of humility runs counter to attaining it.

Day 6: Reverence

Day 6: יִרְאָה / Reverence

Our last post introduced fear, and today we shift slightly to reverence and awe. One interpretation links fear with the realm of human relationship, reserving reverence for our posture towards the Divine.

Wisdom and relationship are two of the basic pillars of our entire project. Today we are warned of airless wisdom and insincere relationships that come if we fail to adopt a sense of reverence. 

Psalms instructs, "The beginning of wisdom (חכמה) is the fear of the LORD (יראת ה׳)" (Psalms 111:10). The vulnerability, humility, and submission characteristic of true reverence allow our spiritual pores to open up to wisdom from Above and all Around us. Short of that existentially outward-facing posture, we risk collapsing into the trap of hollow self-worship. 

Reflection:

What role does יראה play in your theology?

If you believe in a God that is not only some powerful being 'out there,' does יראה still play a role in your connection with God?

Do you find יראה compelling as part of your actual experience practicing Judaism?

Lived practice:

Pay attention to the parts of your life, both good and bad, that are out of your control. Health, weather, and the other circumstances that shape your life. Take note of the awareness of not having total control.

Day 5: Fear

Day 5: אֵימָה / Fear

Our world is filled with stories of corrupted relationships born from hierarchies and power.

Fear has been wielded as a weapon meant to harm and subject.

It is important to name early on that our Mishnah emerges from the world of the classic beit midrash,

structured around the explicit hierarchy between teacher and student.

Fear can be be crippling, but it can also be motivating. Can fear play a productive,

healthy role in a relationship, even in a hierarchical one? Or is fear necessarily a misguided tact?

If nothing else, fear keeps us modest and aligned as we enter the sacred encounter with Torah.

Pirkei Avot 3:6 offers that two who learn together have God's presence join them, as proven by the verse,

“Then they that fear the Lord spoke one with another, and the Lord hearkened, and heard” (Malachi 3:16)

Reflection:

Can there be healthy hierarchies? How are they built?

Do you find fear motivating?

Lived practice:

Focus on one relationship in your life. It could be with a parent, a teacher, a partner, or someone else.

Do you find that fear plays any role in the relationship? Can fear bring you into deeper, trusting relationship?

Day 4: Heartfelt understanding and heartfelt insight

Day 4: בּינַת הַלֵּב, שִׂכְלוּת הַלֵּב / Heartfelt understanding and heartfelt insight

Cultivating a proper heart is a practice towards a more fulfilled self, but is also an end in itself.
Knowing something "by heart" means that we can wield that information for use in this world,
but also that we have stitched that content into the very fabric of our truest selves.

We see this message embraced in the book of Jeremiah, where God says, "I will put My Teaching into their inmost being and inscribe it upon their hearts. Then I will be their God, and they shall be My people" (Jeremiah 31:33).

If our heart is a receptacle of emotion, knowledge, and relationship, we must be vigilant and intentional about filtering what comes in and goes out of our hearts. 

Pirkei Avot stresses the importance of a good heart:

"He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the right way to which a person should cleave? Rabbi Eliezer said, a good eye; Rabbi Joshua said, a good companion; Rabbi Yose said, a good neighbor; Rabbi Shimon said, foresight. Rabbi Elazar said, a good heart. He [Rabban Yohanan] said to them: I prefer the words of Elazar ben Arach, for in his words your words are included" (Pirkei Avot 2:9).

Reflection:

Are there times when you feel that what you say is not heartfelt?
Do you feel like you surround yourself with heartfelt people?

Lived practice:

Today is not a day for small talk. Today is a day for depth and heartfelt comments.
Is everything you say really coming from the heart?
Have you integrated any beauty and wisdom around you into your heart?