Day 21: אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם / Patience
Think of a student-teacher relationship. Both need to exercise patience in order to succeed in their roles, but it means a very different thing for each. For the teacher to be patient, it means showing restraint, compassion, and the will to empower. For the student to have patience, it means having anticipation, focus, and discipline.
One of God's core 13 attributes is ארך אפים, often translated as 'slow to anger.' Rashi comments that God gives ample opportunity to repent, because God believes in empowering learning and growth. This model of outward-facing patience serves as counsel to the teacher.
In Proverbs, the tradition teaches, "Patience results in much understanding; impatience get folly as its portion" (Proverbs 14:29). We crave instant gratification, but wisdom only comes with discipline and effort. This model of inward-facing patience serves as counsel to the student.
Ultimately, patience allows for growth and learning for all parties involved, given that they see the best in the other and in themselves and commit to growing together.
Reflection:
Do you find yourself resonating more with the teacher or with the student above?
How are you able to exercise patience when others do not? Is it a fair expectation to do so?
Lived practice:
The first moment of impatience can lead you to spiral. You might even grow impatient with your impatience. Take a moment and acknowledge the impatience when it occurs, without any judgment. Take at least 30 seconds (count it!) to just let your mind settle. Nobody is too busy to do this. The ability to slow down will build up a capacity for patience.
